Fucking Meta Modern

If you have been living under a rock like a fucking moron you probably have never heard of metamodernism. Matter fact if you’re like most of the pieces of shit walking american streets you have no clue what the fuck I’m talking about.

Here’s the deal back in the 1920’s we had a belief that we could make the world a magical place through technology. Remember the high ideals of the World’s Fair? That was a bunch of bullshit that missed the full on oppression of over 50% of the country. That’s where Post-modernism started in on the scene fucking the oppressive constructs up by dismantling everything you held dear and leaving you with the knowledge the world is a piece of shit and everything’s going to die. That’s the feminist movement in the 80’s and 90’s. Ever wonder why grunge is such amazing music? That’s it’s fucking post modern deconstructionism pissing on the standard rock norms of the times.

Where do we stand today? If you ever listened to the later interviews with DFW (David Foster Wallace dipshit), you probably heard him telling you post-modernism is over. At least if you had your head out of your ass. If you didn’t you probably think Trump is the greatest piece of shit alive. DFW was right. Post modernism is dead, the millennials are fucking over this deconstruction shit and were ready to fucking build great things. Yeah the worlds a shitty place, we get it. But to us post-modernism is old news, and modernism is what our grandparents remember.  Where are we at now? Wait for it, were now Meta-Moderns. We sit there and dress like our favorite disney characters as stealth cosplay because we need the fucking fairy tales to get through this shitty place you created. Do we realize how fucking ridiculous it is to be in your mid-twenties doing that shit? Absolutely, and we’re doing it anyway so fuck you and your cultural norms. We’re going to make a world that uses technology to bring meaning and freedom back into our lives. We see the irony in our ambitions but fuck it we’re going to be sincere to ourselves. We’re going to live authentically.

Meta in meta modernism is referencing the itself as a reflection like you probably expected. Instead we’re discussing the position in reference to multiple positions, the in between state. We are setting ourselves between the high ideals of modernism and the destructiveness of post modernism. Using the tools of both periods we’re constructing a middle ground.

If you’re on the far-right spectrum of politics you’re likely not reading this blog and probably only begrudgingly. That’s good, because fuck your ideology.  The far right has recently discovered post-modernsim and is using it against the ideals of the left. They’re deconstructing the deconstruction of gender and race in an effort to make themselves feel better about being bigoted shitheads. Trump is leading the way in the deconstruction of the safe guards and policies that protect the lower classes who are too blinded to see what is happening. Fuck Obamacare, but I love my ACA benefits. The right is now post modern and the progressive left is, well, still post-modern. With the regressive party and the progressive part occupying the same philosophical ground you can see why things are fucked right now.

Is anyone taking the steps into the future? Yes, check out this arrogant fuck calling himself Hanzi Freinacht. He’s a fucking recluse in the swiss alps writing about where the fuck our next steps are going. Where the fucking millennials are taking the god damned world with their social media and mamby pamby feelings. Because we were born into an America where democracy is a gerontocracy of those who grew up in the best economic period the U.S. has ever seen to the bafflement of economists, and who are telling the millennials to suck it up. The fact that the you’re cities housing has almost zero turnover in ownership and your buying power is half of what they grew up with is no biggie. It’s just the avocado toast you love and the three dollar coffees.

Anyway here’s some fucking links to educate yourself out of being an ignorant piece of shit:

http://metamoderna.org/metamodernism?lang=en

http://www.mensjournal.com/entertainment/articles/the-age-of-entitlement-how-the-baby-boomers-ruined-everything-w472897

http://millennialmoney.com/are-millennials-fucked/

My Existential Crisis Prevents me From Choosing a Damn Coffee Shop Already

One weekend day after scratching my beard to remove crumbs from the cherry greek yogurt I had at brunch, I decided to take my copy of Walden Pond to a coffee shop to relax and contemplate the week. Leaving brunch was very straightforward, given that the process of getting in the car, backing out of my space, and later making a left onto the street was fairly constrained. However, as I turned onto the tree-lined, pedestrian friendly thoroughfare that rested on the former location of a crack house, I began to contemplate the futility of existence, and how every choice I made now closed off an infinite number of future lives I could have led, as simply as closing the last page of my favorite book, beard trimmings and all.

How could an all natural soy latte cure my dread? No number of coffee shop jazz or white boy rap songs played on a device manufactured in an oppressive Malaysian sweat shop could assauge by bad feelings. The idea that I had to choose between a locally sourced coffee shop or a chain coffee shop that, let’s be honest, had much better coffee without the ego boost, seemed too much for a soul to contemplate. If only fainting couches fit in by hybrid mini van.

I continued driving aimlessly to my inevetible fork in the road. On the side walk was some dude in yoga workout clothes running with his dog. He was carrying those little green plastic bags for cleaning certain types of trash. How funny that little bastard of a dog went from an alarm system for the human to using the human as a personal janitorial service. “Why am I calling him a ‘human’?”, I thought.”Who am I to judge, my dog cleaned up that parfait.” Fortunately, both coffee shops allowed dogs.

I was approaching the traffic light and had to make a choice. Normally contemplating the ultimate futility of existence was enough to bring me into a more decisive mood. Once I realized this method was futile, I could see both coffee shops in my rearview mirror. I did a U-turn and some guy honked at me. Since my problem appeared to be a lack of desire to exert myself, I thought the easiest way out of this crisis was simply going to the shop that was now on my right. I threw on my brakes as two dudes on a tandem bicycle rolled by, italian gellatos in hand and laboratory inseminated, color-coordinated twin boys in tow.

I parked and then realized that I was at the chain place, where I had no rewards card. Plus, they didn’t have coffee cups made of 60% post-recycled wood fibers. But then I would have to spend another span of time in my short existence waiting at the traffic light. I sat in my car and started reading. My dog jumped in the passenger seat and licked my face before I could do anything. It smelled like cherry greek yogurt parfait.

 

 

Mathematical Love

I will dot you with nabla, and calculate your gradient
Integrate you until I know everything that lies under those curves.
Back that equation up, and let me derive you out of existence.
I will find out exactly how you behave at infinity.
Like 45 degrees our position will be equally proportional to the square of  our parts.
So let’s multiply the love in our hearts,
Until it’s larger than a 12×12 tensor product.

Let me be your linear transformation from Cartesian to polar
So our basis will vary with the position of our vectors.
Lets form a subspace in this four dimensional reality
Where delta t becomes a higher order term we can ignore
In this Taylor series of love

I will calculate the forces in each member to maximize the strength of your pleasure.
In a infinite recursion cycle that will make your system crash
And leave you messier than a Mandelbrot set of complex numbers

Check the math the impulse of my rocket has enough thrust put you in an orbit that will take days to complete.
The natural frequency our bodies will multiply like a vibrations in a non-Newtonian fluid building until the climax.
Releasing standing waves that propagate at the speed of light
Inducing the electricity in your eyes, and the passion of your bite
Let the diffraction of the night reflect the color of your eyes

The velocity at which you fall isn’t fixed in a vacuum
This ridged body motion is more than an analysis
A system this complex can’t be modeled as a particle
Don’t even try.

Exploring our souls we will find our strange attractors form beautiful fractals
Unlike anything ever modeled before, let’s find the answer to our differential
Equation by Gaussian elimination until we are left with our identities.
Forming our bond like an othronormal basis built from eigenvectors our love is
Coordinate invariant and therefore unchanging

But let’s not get irrational we don’t want to make this become imaginary.
Our equation maybe in strong form, but love is must be quantified extensively
And life is anything but isotropic we must continue to change and adapt in ways Darwin can only imagine.